Family

Why do kids need routines and structure? Because routines give them a sense of security and help them develop self-discipline. Humans are afraid of many things, but "the unknown" edges out everything except death and public speaking for most people...

Why do kids need routines and structure? Because ...

"In the absence of reflection, history often repeats itself…Research has clearly demonstrated that our children’s attachment to us will be influenced by what happened to us when we were young if we do not come to process and understand those experien...

"In the absence of reflection, history often repea...

Since you’re human, you’ll sometimes find yourself in “fight or flight” mode, and your child will start to look like the enemy. When we're swept with anger, we're physically ready to fight. Hormones and neurotransmitters are flooding our bodies. They...

Since you’re human, you’ll sometimes find yourself...

Imagine your husband or wife losing their temper and screaming at you. Now imagine them three times as big as you, towering over you. Imagine that you depend on that person completely for your food, shelter, safety, protection. Imagine they are your ...

Imagine your husband or wife losing their temper a...

All parents get angry at their children. It doesn’t help that there are always the endless pressures of life: appointments we’re late to, things we’ve forgotten until the last moment, health and financial worries -- the list is endless. In the mi...

All parents get angry at their children. It do...

All kids -- like all humans -- get angry. Anger is a defense against deeper feelings of fear, hurt, disappointment, and pain. When those feelings are too devastating, we automatically move into anger to keep ourselves from feeling so much pain. We mo...

All kids -- like all humans -- get angry. Anger is...

1. Avoid power struggles by using routines and rules. That way, you aren't bossing them around, it’s just that “The rule is we use the potty after every meal and snack,” or “The schedule is that lights-out is at 8pm. If you hurry, we’ll have time for...

1. Avoid power struggles by using routines and rul...

Have a strong-willed child? You're lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults. Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they wan...

Have a strong-willed child? You're lucky! Strong w...

Most parents nowadays try not to use physical punishment. Many have been advised instead to use modern child management: timeouts. But any child can explain to you that timeouts ARE punishment, not any different than when you were made to stand in th...

Most parents nowadays try not to use physical puni...

You've probably heard that kids need limits. I myself used to question this premise. But what I learned by watching kids is confirmed by research findings in neurology. As children are faced with the necessity to rein in their impulse toward somethin...

You've probably heard that kids need limits. I mys...

Most good parents hate the idea of causing their child grief. They don’t want to incite a tantrum, and they certainly don’t want their child to be angry at them. But setting limits is an important part of good parenting. Infants' wants are identical...

Most good parents hate the idea of causing their c...

Were you spanked as a child? Then you may think it's a good way to guide a child. Or maybe you don't want to spank, but you find yourself doing it because you don't know how else to get through to your child. Interestingly, adults who were not spanke...

Were you spanked as a child? Then you may think it...

Research show that most people think strict parenting produces better-behaved kids. However, research studies on discipline consistently show that strict, or authoritarian, child-raising actually produces kids with lower self esteem who behave worse ...

Research show that most people think strict parent...

Discipline has nothing to do with punishment. Punishment is imposing something unpleasant on a person in response to behavior deemed wrong by the punisher. Discipline comes from the Latin verb to teach or guide, as does the word Disciple. Positive Di...

Discipline has nothing to do with punishment. Puni...

Life is full of difficult discussions we need to have with our kids, from explaining to our four year old why Grandma died, to hearing from our ten year old that he was bullied on the playground, to confronting our sixteen year old about missing her ...

Life is full of difficult discussions we need to h...

Almost from the time our kids can talk, there are tough conversations we need to have with them, from an impending move ("I'm not going!") to Grandpa's illness to our teens' more serious infractions. If you can control your emotions and keep the situ...

Almost from the time our kids can talk, there are ...

"Most families tend to rush through dinner, especially the kids. They can't wait to get back to their computers and cell phones and iPods. But they'll stick around if the conversation is interesting. And the biggest determinant is YOU. If you see you...

"Most families tend to rush through dinner, especi...

"By far the most important form of attention we can give our loved ones is listening... True listening is love in action. - M. Scott PeckDid your family have great discussions when you were growing up? Were people interested in hearing and learning f...

"By far the most important form of attention we ca...

Kids don’t just come up to a parent and say things like “I know you want me to get As in school and I have a chance to cheat on the test; what should I do?” or “I’m bulimic.” Parents have to earn that kind of trust. How? 1. Listen to your little ones...

Kids don’t just come up to a parent and say things...

Fewer than half of all sixth graders describe their family communication as positive. Worse yet, only 22% of high school seniors do. What would your kids say? Most tweens and teens regretfully report that there are things about which they can’t talk...

Fewer than half of all sixth graders describe thei...

I know, you think you hate playing with your child. But what if I gave you permission to set a timer and forget about your To-Do list and just connect with your child for ten minutes? What if I promised that if you do this on a regular basis, your ch...

I know, you think you hate playing with your child...