Family

by Dennis and Barbara Rainey Do you ever feel like your brain might explode if you have to remember one more thing? It’s no wonder—we’ve got a lot to remember! Passwords to access different websites. A code for voicemail. A PIN for the ATM at your b...

by Dennis and Barbara Rainey Do you ever feel lik...

Our children learn their behavior by watching ours. If we say please and thank you, they learn to do it too (in time). If we treat other people politely, they'll do the same thing. If we smoke crack cocaine before breakfast, they'll think that's norm...

Our children learn their behavior by watching ours...

When you tell a child that they are naughty, selfish, lazy, fat, stupid, rude, pushy, careless or anything else, you label them. And if they believe that label (and why shouldn't they -- they're trained to believe what we tell them), they will start ...

When you tell a child that they are naughty, selfi...

Okay, so you've had a fight with your child. Maybe you handled it well, or maybe not (you're only human). But you're a Rules parent anyhow, so it can't have been that bad. Your child, on the other hand, was well out of order and sent to her room.What...

Okay, so you've had a fight with your child. Maybe...

One of the things that should be coming through by now is that the way we behave is the strongest model our kids have for their own behavior. We've said that if you don't want them to lose their temper, you mustn't lose yours, and if you want them to...

One of the things that should be coming through by...

Your child is going to want to get certain grades at school. Whether it's exams or continuous assessment, whether it's just for the sake of doing well or whether they actually need the grades in order to pass the subject or get on to the course they ...

Your child is going to want to get certain grades ...

Do your children have any friends you're not keen on? That wild one in nursery who pulls other kids' hair when no one's looking? The girl in the fifth grade who's their best friend one day and not speaking to them the next? The 15-year-old who's alwa...

Do your children have any friends you're not keen ...

So what's this Rule about? Well, if your child is facing -- or might ever face -- bullying, the most crucial thing you can do is to teach him to handle it before it goes too far. Do you know why kids get bullied? For being different. And researchers ...

So what's this Rule about? Well, if your child is ...

I know a child called Ned who hates his name because it rhymes with too many things and his classmates have, obviously, spotted this, "Ned, Ned, wets the bed" being one of their favorite chants. Now on one (rather pathetic) level, that's quite funny ...

I know a child called Ned who hates his name becau...

The previous rule was all about backing the school up, even when you don't agree with everything they do. But that doesn't have to be unconditional. You have to back them up over the policies and systems in general because that's part of the deal. Bu...

The previous rule was all about backing the school...

There's no such thing as a perfect school. Your kids' school has several hundred, even thousand, parents, and there's no way they will all agree with everything the school does. If every policy had to be agreed by a unanimous decision of all parents,...

There's no such thing as a perfect school. Your ki...

Parents often ask how to raise a child with good character and values, in the context of a culture that often seems to reward the opposite. The simplest answer is that children learn what they live, so if you live your values, your kids are likely to...

Parents often ask how to raise a child with good c...

Managing anxiety in order to tackle a big project, managing anger in order to work through a marital conflict, managing fear in order to apply for a job -- the ability of a human being to manage his or her emotions in a healthy way will determine the...

Managing anxiety in order to tackle a big project,...

It’s the thought that counts, and the love that goes into it. No need to spend a fortune on gifts, your kids will love making them for grandparents, cousins and teachers – and the recipients will treasure them. Fair warning: If the kids help, your gi...

It’s the thought that counts, and the love that go...

*We take responsibility for regulating our own emotions, so we can stay as calm as possible with our children. *We set limits with empathy. *We reflect before we react, looking for the reason behind our child's behavior. *We connect before we corr...

*We take responsibility for regulating our own emo...

The average fifth grader, given a choice, prefers to stay inside, close to electrical sockets and all the entertainment sources they power. But your grandmother was right: Kids need fresh air and exercise. We all do. Families who find ways to be out...

The average fifth grader, given a choice, prefers ...

How do you hold a family together? How do you make kids WANT to spend time with the family? How do you give your children the motivation to work things through with their siblings and with you? Much of the answer has to do with the family culture you...

How do you hold a family together? How do you make...

Parents have always grappled with harsh realities to protect their children. But our culture poses risks that are difficult to navigate, because they aren't obviously dangerous. In fact, we take them for granted as we go about our busy lives. The gre...

Parents have always grappled with harsh realities ...

Does the idea of Family Meetings seem stilted and artificial to you? It certainly did to me, when I first heard about it. But once we tried them, we loved them. They create connection. They give you a way to work things out when everyone's calm. They...

Does the idea of Family Meetings seem stilted and ...

From the infectious fun of side-splitting laughter to the exuberance of an impromptu pillow fight, infusing a spirit of joy and playfulness into your home nurtures your family like little else. Playing together is an almost magical way to build conn...

From the infectious fun of side-splitting laughter...

1. Routines eliminate power struggles because you aren't bossing them around. This activity (brushing teeth, napping, turning off the TV to come to dinner) is just what we do at this time of day. The parent stops being the bad guy, and nagging is gre...

1. Routines eliminate power struggles because you ...