Parenting

Your child is going to want to get certain grades at school. Whether it's exams or continuous assessment, whether it's just for the sake of doing well or whether they actually need the grades in order to pass the subject or get on to the course they ...

Your child is going to want to get certain grades ...

Do your children have any friends you're not keen on? That wild one in nursery who pulls other kids' hair when no one's looking? The girl in the fifth grade who's their best friend one day and not speaking to them the next? The 15-year-old who's alwa...

Do your children have any friends you're not keen ...

So what's this Rule about? Well, if your child is facing -- or might ever face -- bullying, the most crucial thing you can do is to teach him to handle it before it goes too far. Do you know why kids get bullied? For being different. And researchers ...

So what's this Rule about? Well, if your child is ...

I know a child called Ned who hates his name because it rhymes with too many things and his classmates have, obviously, spotted this, "Ned, Ned, wets the bed" being one of their favorite chants. Now on one (rather pathetic) level, that's quite funny ...

I know a child called Ned who hates his name becau...

The previous rule was all about backing the school up, even when you don't agree with everything they do. But that doesn't have to be unconditional. You have to back them up over the policies and systems in general because that's part of the deal. Bu...

The previous rule was all about backing the school...

There's no such thing as a perfect school. Your kids' school has several hundred, even thousand, parents, and there's no way they will all agree with everything the school does. If every policy had to be agreed by a unanimous decision of all parents,...

There's no such thing as a perfect school. Your ki...

Parents often ask how to raise a child with good character and values, in the context of a culture that often seems to reward the opposite. The simplest answer is that children learn what they live, so if you live your values, your kids are likely to...

Parents often ask how to raise a child with good c...

Managing anxiety in order to tackle a big project, managing anger in order to work through a marital conflict, managing fear in order to apply for a job -- the ability of a human being to manage his or her emotions in a healthy way will determine the...

Managing anxiety in order to tackle a big project,...

It’s the thought that counts, and the love that goes into it. No need to spend a fortune on gifts, your kids will love making them for grandparents, cousins and teachers – and the recipients will treasure them. Fair warning: If the kids help, your gi...

It’s the thought that counts, and the love that go...

*We take responsibility for regulating our own emotions, so we can stay as calm as possible with our children. *We set limits with empathy. *We reflect before we react, looking for the reason behind our child's behavior. *We connect before we corr...

*We take responsibility for regulating our own emo...

The average fifth grader, given a choice, prefers to stay inside, close to electrical sockets and all the entertainment sources they power. But your grandmother was right: Kids need fresh air and exercise. We all do. Families who find ways to be out...

The average fifth grader, given a choice, prefers ...

Parents have always grappled with harsh realities to protect their children. But our culture poses risks that are difficult to navigate, because they aren't obviously dangerous. In fact, we take them for granted as we go about our busy lives. The gre...

Parents have always grappled with harsh realities ...

1. Routines eliminate power struggles because you aren't bossing them around. This activity (brushing teeth, napping, turning off the TV to come to dinner) is just what we do at this time of day. The parent stops being the bad guy, and nagging is gre...

1. Routines eliminate power struggles because you ...

Why do kids need routines and structure? Because routines give them a sense of security and help them develop self-discipline. Humans are afraid of many things, but "the unknown" edges out everything except death and public speaking for most people...

Why do kids need routines and structure? Because ...

"In the absence of reflection, history often repeats itself…Research has clearly demonstrated that our children’s attachment to us will be influenced by what happened to us when we were young if we do not come to process and understand those experien...

"In the absence of reflection, history often repea...

Since you’re human, you’ll sometimes find yourself in “fight or flight” mode, and your child will start to look like the enemy. When we're swept with anger, we're physically ready to fight. Hormones and neurotransmitters are flooding our bodies. They...

Since you’re human, you’ll sometimes find yourself...

Imagine your husband or wife losing their temper and screaming at you. Now imagine them three times as big as you, towering over you. Imagine that you depend on that person completely for your food, shelter, safety, protection. Imagine they are your ...

Imagine your husband or wife losing their temper a...

All parents get angry at their children. It doesn’t help that there are always the endless pressures of life: appointments we’re late to, things we’ve forgotten until the last moment, health and financial worries -- the list is endless. In the mi...

All parents get angry at their children. It do...

All kids -- like all humans -- get angry. Anger is a defense against deeper feelings of fear, hurt, disappointment, and pain. When those feelings are too devastating, we automatically move into anger to keep ourselves from feeling so much pain. We mo...

All kids -- like all humans -- get angry. Anger is...

1. Avoid power struggles by using routines and rules. That way, you aren't bossing them around, it’s just that “The rule is we use the potty after every meal and snack,” or “The schedule is that lights-out is at 8pm. If you hurry, we’ll have time for...

1. Avoid power struggles by using routines and rul...

Have a strong-willed child? You're lucky! Strong willed children can be a challenge to parent when they’re young, but if sensitively parented, they become terrific teens and young adults. Self-motivated and inner-directed, they go after what they wan...

Have a strong-willed child? You're lucky! Strong w...